I have often been accused of being stubborn. I prefer to think of it as Pig headed determination. The determination to see a situation out, to make and achieve impossible goals.
But I have a confession. There is a situation in my past that I’m not entirely proud of.
I had a long term goal that I was working towards. I put my entire energy into this goal. My life changed incredibly, I was super charged towards my end result.
But something changed in me. I could no longer reconcile my present with my future and I didn’t know what to do. It was something I had worked towards for so long and I didn’t know what would happen if I was to quit.
The turning point came for me the day I smashed a window.
I clearly remember being in my room a shard of glass in my hand and contemplated slicing my wrist. I wanted out of that situation so badly that I wondered if I should go along the vein or straight across. That is probably the worst situation I have ever been in, and it made me realise (luckily) that I wasn’t where I was meant to be.
The problem for me was that the end didn’t justify the means.
I felt that the situation I had gotten myself into was not good for my mental wellbeing, so I quit. I walked away from something I had worked towards for years. And I gave up on that goal.
Occasionally I look back at the situation, and hindsight is 20/20. I notice that most people were trying to help me, but I was just too naive to see it.
Strangely, I don’t often remember the bad things that happened, mostly I just kick myself and want to go back and change things. Where would my life be if I hadn’t left at that point? Would I be richer or happier?
To this day I still regret the course of events that led up to that awful day. Even now I wonder if I should have just stuck with it, kept going, and let the end goal be the prize.
But really, how much do you have to endure to reach your goals until you realise that the goal you have set is just not right for you?
Many of us gen Y types tend to give up too easily, which makes me more determined to stick things out, and I probably stay with various failing projects too long until I realise that I am being stubborn, not just strong willed.
There is nothing wrong with giving up on a situation. Chasing your goals is supposed to make you happy, its meant to make your heart sing, not be a total drudgery. It is the journey, not the destination, after all.
So who cares if you quit? Are you worried that people will think less of you? That you will lose friends? Seriously. Seriously?
Who cares what people think.
We’ve been taught that we are meant to work hard, and make sacrifices in order to achieve great goals. This doesn’t resonate with me. In fact, it turns my heart cold.
I don’t believe that there is one path to follow to achieve a certain outcome.
Why are we being fed this old story. Who does it help? Will you feel good when you realise at 30, 40 or 50 that you worked your youth away at a job you didn’t like to achieve a goal you never really wanted?
Who is the more successful person? The one who went to university straight out of high school, works the hardest, never takes holidays but owns a great car or the one who has had tried 100 different ventures, has experiences failures, stops and starts before finding success? I honestly know who I’d rather be.
